Isalos Fine Art

I don't usually use press releases for my blog, but this one is so huge I couldn't resist. 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 1st, 2006

Contact: I.M. Huuge  at www.biggerthangodcorp.com

Theme Park Developer Buys Deer Isle

According to a press release, Biggerthangodcorp A.G., a subsidiary of one of the world’s largest theme park developers, has bought the island of Deer Isle. The buy-out includes Little Deer Isle, Deer Isle Village and the town of Stonington, and took place over several months of clandestine negotiations, in which local property owners were compensated at higher prices than the current market values. The total selling price came to just over six kazillion dollars.

Construction of the theme park will begin this spring, after phase one of the islander relocation program is complete. A new toll bridge will be constructed, and the current bridge will be used as a ride. Other major features will include a track for NASCAR racing around the perimeter of the island, and a waterslide and rafting park near the new mosquito hatchery. Giant lobsters have been bred both for the lobster livery (saddle-up a lobster and go for a guided, scenic tour) and for fights at the Colisseum, in which 900-pound lobsters are pitted against all manner of creatures, including real lobstermen dressed-up as gladiators and bullfighters. Stunt car tire-burning demonstrations will be sponsored by several major tire manufacturers.

A volcano is planned for Crotch Island. It will erupt every hour, on the hour, and will be visible from outer space. Work has already begun on dredging the thorofare and the removal of several ledges and small islands to make room for cruise ships. Until the  global warming process is complete, a dome will cover the island for nine months of the year, the temperature set at 72 degrees.

Employment opportunities abound for island residents who wish to stay. Visitors will be greeted by islanders dressed in period costume, speaking in colorful Maine accents with plenty of salty nautical terms(voice classes will be offered). Other positions include Pirates, Smugglers, Granite Cutters, Fishermen, Artists, Dance-hall Girls and Lobster Wranglers.

As part of the compensation package, many islanders have opted to move to the newly-constructed Walton Isle, near Addison, a man-made island in which each home is directly connected to a superstore in the middle. “You’ll never have to go anywhere,” said I.M. Huuge, the project manager. “You can even hook-up to the intravenous feeding system and drink no-calorie Pop Tarts all day long while you watch reality TV shows. There’s really no need to go anywhere or do anything anymore.”

A gala kick-off event will take place this Saturday, April 1st, at the Stonington Pier, where spectators can watch submarine races in the newly-dredged thorofare. For more information, go to www.biggerthangodcorp.com.

One day I complain about our dusty streets and mediocre weather (but notice how I put a positve spin on it, even when it's a stretch). The next day is so gorgeous I have to spend some of it walking around in the woods and and hanging out on sunny rocks beside the ocean. The next day the street sweeper comes and cleans up Main Street. This is the power of blogging. We've been told many times to just ask the Universe for what  we want. Sometimes it even works.

I'm still waiting for that car. 

So here we are, late in March. Stonington's main drag remains dirty with sand and salt left by plow trucks, and as the cars cruise back and forth, clouds of dust linger in the air. Most days lately I've noticed a handful of shiny cars with out of  state plates parked out there. It's mystifying how they get here with their car's shine so intact. Yes, we've heard of those buildings you drive through that clean your car for you, but we're a long, dusty drive from anything like that.

We heard that it's spring, and I guess it must be true. It's been above freezing  for awhile, and the daylight lingers long enough that you feel sort-of guilty to be ready for that cocktail when it isn't even dark yet. Yesterday we had enough gallery visitors that we lost track of how many (it gets tough for us when you can't count them on two hands).  

There's something about this time of year though, that feels neither here nor there. It isn't exactly winter anymore, and yet it isn't so nice out that you feel like running barefoot through the fields of whatever. I hear people say that they can't complain, but... and then they talk about moving to Mexico or Alaska or who knows where. The Opera House is closed a few weeks for maintenance. People take leaves of absence from the island and it's hard to remember who's around and who isn't and when everyone will be around. The gumball
machine at the corner store that dispenses
anti-depressants is empty.

But last night we went to a party, and furniture artists from Wales and Australia were there, critiquing and praising our host's work. We looked at paintings and talked about  important stuff as well as smalltalk. We hung out with the cat and  the dogs, and at some point when it was pretty late, we all rushed out the doors simultaneously so as to not be the last ones to leave. The night was starry and clear, the harbor emanating a dark film noir stillness.

The good news is that the art is flowing. We've visited studios and seen the new work that we'll soon have in the gallery. Sure, in more perfect climates, the pretty people are sitting outside sipping their drinks, admiring the fine view, toasting their cleverness for being in such a place and living such a life, but we're getting better work done here, due in part, to our moody climate. Over the next few days, I'll be showing you some of that new work.

Just landed- Jaqueline Wilson stopped by the gallery to show us what she's been up to, and she's obviously been busy. She had a bunch of new woodcuts, including these stunning prints of birds.

Loon, woodcut, Jacqueline Wilson

Green Jay, woodcut, Jacqueline Wilson

Thresher, woodcut, Jacqueline Wilson 

We've had some warm weather here lately, which most of us don't get too excited about. We figure it's just a tease, that there's got to be plenty of cold, messy days between now and summer. Still, it's been pretty nice.  I tempted fate and swept the sand and winter dust out of the dooway and off the sidewalk. Some days we look out on Main Street and see three or four clean cars with out of state plates, and some of those people have even come into the gallery. Maybe the secret of Stonington's tropical winters is getting out. Even the birds seem to like it.